Where is the glamor?

Mov'n on up used to be my goal. I looked at my boss and the boss of my boss and began to covet what I perceived was power and prestige. Now hear I sit in a lonely hotel room missing my family and watching mindless TV. I have moved up to where I thought I wanted to be only to be disappointed in the lack of satisfaction.

But wait, don't I get to travel to Europe and South America and many States in North America? Don't I get to fly in airplanes and enjoy nice dinners on the company dollar? Don't I get to participate in intellectual conversations? Don't I get recognition and rewards for my accomplishments? Yes, I get all of those things and some of those things are nice.

I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I still don't feel like I am doing what God wants me to do. I continue to fail on the same areas of my life. I do not spend enough time in prayer with God. I do not speak my wife's love language often enough to make her feel appreciated and loved. I don't spend enough time reading God's word. I still lose my temper too often with my children. The list goes on and on. It is a shame I can't make the same salary spending every day working on my life's short comings.

Have you seen the movie Temple? Some would say she was challenged because of her disability. I say she was blessed. She saw the world through pictures. She knew her purpose and had the focus to go after it without being distracted by looking at what others had. God gave her talents and withheld "normal" human behavior from her. Look, now I am coveting a person I don't know that had autism. What a sad excuse I am for a person.

God, please forgive me.